Yamila's Blog

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Good Stuff
Another awesome artistic opportunity arrived by phone today, and I accepted. I'll spare you the wonderful details. Brenda is jealous enough as it is. ::giggle::

Present from Sheba
Thanks Sheba, but I've already eaten.

In other news I've been hired to illustrate a children's book. I should have turned it down with the book proposal and all, but I don't have faith in the novel so...

JOY!
I'm having an irrational case of the happys right now. I don't know why. Sometimes I just get these glorious waves of joy and euphoria. Right now that's happening. :) Everything is right in the world. Things I worry about don't seem to be that much of a big deal. :D

Of course, I have 10,000,000 things to be happy about right now! :DD I work at home and make tons of money! I have all the free time I want to do the things I love. I have a wonderful sweet on-line friend by the name of Zelly who lets me torture her! :D (Torture roleplay is the bomb). For every regular reader who forgets to feedback Consort a new one comes out of the shadows to make my day! My art is looking beautiful and I may even have a chance to be professionally published. Even if it doesn't happen, I have the peace of knowing that nothing is riding on it!

Man I'm so happy right now! Who needs to win the lottery when life is so good! I love you! I love you all! Even the nastys among you, the materialistic and the ones who haven't matured in two years--I LOVE YOU ALL!

Writing
;_; I'm lonely and Zelly ain't on for me to torture. ;_;

Okay, I finished the lastest part of Consort, and put Whoreass on hiatus. Time to work on the book proposal. Namely getting the three sample chapters ready.

I tried to get started today and got hit with immediate writer's block. Writing for someone other than myself always does that to me. It's only when I'm writing with no aim except to put it on the web do my words flow free.

Hopefully I'll do better tomorrow.

Besides the anxiety there's also that I don't have confidence in this project. Part of my brain is thinking that the book thing is just a rouse so that I'll let the guy bang me when we meet in New York. 9_9 I've sent my picture to him so hopefully that will deter him.

Besides that, I don't know what he's expecting. My work has never been very marketable or easy to categorize. It's commonplace on the Internet, alien in the publishing world. Bleh.

I have to do this for the sake of the opportunity and the 'who knows' factor. I don't have high hopes. All I have to lose is the time it will take me to write three chapters. That's alot however. My time is scarce and I have other projects on the burner that give instant gratification without any difficult aspirations.

Bleh.

My mind is working on the project after Consort right now. Not on rewriting Consort. True, I could write up a book proposal for '200 Years of Darkness' my next project. But it's not formed enough yet.

Pooh.

Some News
My sister did a picture for Consort while she was here, but I don't think I can use it. I just don't. ;_; It looks like Locke is 4 feet taller than the other two in the picture. There's no way to tell the others are kneeling. Garhag.

The strays:
This poor kitten has died

We're partly responsible. She would visit our cat Sheba (below) at our window.

She fell. It's a long drop onto jagged stones. We haven't seen her since. ;_;

The remaining stray kitten was left alone. She and her sister were always together. They're mother had pushed them away. They huddled together for warmth.

Three days ago the surviving stray kitten was crying at the same window that her sister had died at. I opened the screen. She came in. I closed the screen behind her.

We had tried to adopt the two kittens before. The first time we pulled this they freaked. They were crying, and ripped up the screen door. We let them go.

The gray kitten was frightened but she didn't freak. Sheba kept her calm. The kitten followed Sheba around and took cues from her.

The stray is still extremely feral. She runs from us and wont let us touch her. But she's cleaning herself, sleeping in the open, and playing with Sheba. She purrs loudly for no reason sometimes. She'll chase a string if we play with her. We're keeping her.

Two things occurred tonight. Gick. To understand the first you need to know about Sheba. We adopted her three weeks ago from a Humane Societyish organization. They claimed that Sheba had had kittens and was locked in her former owners basement with them to die. The kittens starved to death. Sheba wasted. Then was rescued and we adopted her.

I am cynical and of course immediately think: Whatever. I'll adopt the cat no matter what, you don't need to make up fairy tales. There is some truth however--Sheba has had kittens at some point because as you see in the picture above she was nursing at some point. She was malnurished when we adopted her. She is terrified of the basement and won't go down there. I believe this validates some of the story, but I can't believe all of it. Too many black kittens were up for adoption with Sheba.

Anyhoo, tonight the kitten NURSED off Sheba. BLEH! This kitten is over 6 months old damn it! But Sheba just lied like she is in that picture up there and purred her heart out. ::sigh::

The second thing with the stray. I snuck up on her while she was sleeping and scratched her neck. Before she did an adorable little backflip to flee from me, I felt ticks.

Lot's of ticks.

Ick. I'll have to see if I can catch her tomorrow and get her to a vet. We hired a group to catch all our strays and spay/neuter etc. But they're not coming til the 20th. I'm worried Sheba will get some of her ticks. (Or us! ::gulp!::). I'll have to deal with this tomorrow. See if I can find a trap at Petco and take her to the nearest vet. ;_;

http://forums.keenspace.com/viewtopic.php?t=43973
Awwww. I am loved.

http://forums.keenspace.com/viewtopic.php?t=43973

Furthermore...

::sigh::

::sigh::
I had an accident roller skating and broke my left ankle in four places. I guess this is the last time I rollerskate. My sister is visiting right now so she's helping me with the business. ;_; My bro got laid off, so I've hired him until he gets another job. Foot hurts, but Oxycontin good.

cat

Priorities
I bought a metabolic scale (measures body fat) from the Sharper Image with my Discover Card reward points. I'm kind of wanting to lose weight. (Not enough to diet though). I also have started wearing make-up. And I've made an appointment for electrolosis on some facial hair.

I've started dating. It's not serious. She's prettier than me though, so I feel uncomfortable. It's either catch up to her good looks or just be friends.

My proprietary supplement is being manufactured. I have to come up with $8,500 to get the first batch. I need to stop spending so much money.

I went out to dinner with S. (the girl I'm dating). We're weird. We went out to eat at 3:30pm. The restaurant doesn't open until 4:30. There was already a line at the door. I know most of those people don't have reservations. What are people thinking these days?

Anyhoo, we killed time at a toystore nearby. I got to talking with the owner. He wants to sell stuff on-line. I see a lot of things that could fly on E-bay. I'm going by there with a digital camera on Tuesday to take some pics. We'll see. Seems a good time of year to be selling toys.

The screen/tablet hasn't improved my art except that it makes drawing faster. It's neat to be able to flip the pen over and erase. :)

Still need to draw more.

I promised Rich I would have a book proposal by November. Kay. Well see. ::sigh:: I'll work on it a little after I'm done with this part of Consort and have a few Whoreasses ready.

GRARAG!
My drawing tablet and the free digital camera that came with it 'out for delivery' and I CAN'T WAIT! ::hops up and down:: I WANT IT NOW!

http://www.coolgraphicstuff.com/cintiq.html
::sigh:: As the last entry says my drawing tablet broke. I went online hunting for a new one.

A year ago I would have given my left arm for the Sony computer that would let you draw on the monitor. It's off the market now (didn't catch on I guess). While I was searching for a new tablet I found something even better. Click the subject link if you want to see.

Yes, I just spent $1889 on a tablet which is also a screen showing the picture you're drawing. It's like electronic paper. It's what I always wanted.

I'm very hesitant to make big ticket purchases like this. I usually go for the cheapest thing out there, or wait until the price goes down (and it will). But I couldn't resist this tablet. I was like outside of my body watching me type in my credit card info. There was nothing I could do to stop me.

This tablet isn't going to make me money. It's not like a business purchase. It's for my hobby. And my obsession of being a better artist than everyone else in my sphere. (Pathetic, I know.) It was an extremely indulgent purchase.

Here's the facts though, and I must remember them.

If I bought a tablet now, I would have just caved in and bought this special tablet later, and hence I would have wasted even more money by having a tablet I can't use.
I make big ticket purchases every single day. They're usually for business. Why can't I just buy something for me for once? Why be miserly in everything except business?
I do spend this amount of money on other things. For instance, vacations and gambling.

I have this idea in my head that this tablet is going to be like a magic wand that will instantly improve my drawing. It's silly, but we'll see.

Blah
I was going to do a guest comic for Nasty Chocolates but scratch that. My tablet has finally shit the bed. >.< Can't draw anything right now. Ordering new one. (razza)

...
I was hoping to get some Consort done today, but I got a threatening e-mail from some dickweed who I don't even know accusing me of making counterfeit lables for his product. I don't sell his product by the way. At the same time he was trying to get me to buy some of his crap merchandise. His e-mail was patronizing. 'I want you to succeed Yamila, I want to be your friend.' Would he treat me this way if I were a man? No. 'I'm hoping you'll warm up to me.' What the fuck. I left the business world to get away from sexist assholes and I still have to deal with it. Fuck him. I'm not selling any of his bullshit.

Babbling

yamila_a: I think I forgot to condition mah hair. 
yamila_a: I bought these special lipsticks on TV! 
yamila_a: Dun wub off!
yamila_a: Squeee hee hee!
yamila_a: I haven't drawn nothing for a long time.
yamila_a: Nor wrote.
yamila_a: I should really get my but in gear.
yamila_a: I wish it would stop raining. ;_;
yamila_a: I should see if I can find some Mai Tai mix on the web. None of the liquor stores around here sell it.
yamila_a: I need a pedicure!
yamila_a: BAD!
yamila_a: Manicure wouldn't hurt neither.
yamila_a: Gots to look pwetty for the gurls. 
yamila_a: Blah. Who am I kidding? It's BUTCH CITY around here!
yamila_a: Though some of them dig lipstick lesbians like me.
yamila_a:  I hate being the chick though.
yamila_a: I like to dominate.
brookofander: *L* okay, I'm leaving now!
yamila_a: I thought you already left. 
yamila_a: Bye!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/tribute.html
DAMN IT!

Now I'm going to be happy all day long. :DDDD! That was like a heroin needle of pleasure.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/flashback.html
I predict the person who created the flash cartoon above will commit suicide. ;_;

I bought the movie The Hunger. I could have rented it but I'm sure I'm going to love it.

It's about lesbian vampires.
It stars David Bowie
The lesbian sex scene is done to the operetta 'The Flower Duet.' Which is muh favorite.

Can't wait to see it!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/windowsrg.html
BWA HA HA HA HA!

Cheers Jeers and More Cartoons
Cheers:
Hip hip hooray! There's a new NEW He-man and it doesn't suck! :D

Jeers:
There's a new new NEW Transformers and it sucks shit. :(

All we need now is a new NEW Voltron that doesn't suck. ;_; (e.g. doesn't have an ugly Lotor).

I've been thinking of a subject of a while that really needs to be made into a critical essay. I'm going to brainstorm it here.

It seems that some time around the mid-90s an executive wrote a memo to all cartoon makers (Let's call it the Children's Television Act of 1990) to this effect:

Cartoons aimed at a specific genders are no longer politically correct. Cartoons such as Jem, Strawberry Shortcake, Little Clowns of Happy Town (I'm dating myself) cause girls to get pigeonholed into a feminine identity which make looking cute and serving men an objective. Similarly cartoons such as GI Joe, M.A.S.K, and Silver Hawks make boys violent and insensitive.

From now on all cartoons must not be marketed to any one gender, but all cartoons must be suitable to both. Rather than fostering outdated ideals in boys and girls they should instead foster universal ideas *coughCOMMUNISMcough* such as working together, sharing, tolerance, and equality.

While this is a noble purpose on paper it has in reality made American cartoons so pathetic that children are clammering to Cartoon Network's Toonami (and the like) for real entertainment.

I am going to prove my point on the suckiness of dual-gender audience cartoons later on. For now I'd like to make a point that the cartoon executives apparently did not see.

While there are cartoons that seemed to be damaging to women's identities, the majority of American 'girls' cartoons had become cautious enough not to pigeon-hole girls as the weaker sex. Some cartoons of the early 80s were deplorable in this respect. I think they are what kept a stigma on later female-oriented cartoons.

Let's look at Strawberry Shortcake. I loved this cartoon and my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag. I treasured my stinky Strawberry Shortcake dolls. And it must be taken into account that (to my knowlege) SS was never a weekly or daily TV show, but rather had special hour long events every once in a while. (The SS vs Peculiar Purple Pieman Bake-off comes to mind). However, if examined, it's clear that the PC sect would see this show as detrimental to women's identity. SS was a wishy-washy cook who was ultra polite even to her enemies. She had a little spunk to her, but her situations were never so terrible as to light her fire. She was the queen of the courtesy and a master of ettiquette.

Strawberry Shortcake. Evil child destroyer.

The PC sect must have seen her as a representation of all girl-oriented cartoons. Poor SS was used as a scapecoat to banish FANTASTIC girl's cartoons such as Jem. A show full of independent, successful, flamboyant, socially aware (Hey! Their mansion was an orphanage, remember?) female Rockstars.

Jem too outrageous for the PC sect.

On the other side of the spectrum are similarly wonderful shows like GI JOE. It was popularized in the mid to late 80s a time period thought safely far enough from the anti-war movement.

NO JOE! You inspire violence and machoism in
little boys! (And where the fuck is Shipwreck?)

There isn't any opposite example to the extreme of Strawberry Shortcake that I can think of. That isn't to say that I think SS in general is the catalyst for this sorry turn of events in modern cartoons. I do think that PC psycho-babblers found that despite the myriad of excellent well-adjusted females reared in that era that such genderized cartoons turned out rapists and girls who blame themselves for getting raped. (Or something like that).

What's the answer? THIS SHIT!

My God what horrible cartoons! Our poor children. ;_; (No snide remarks people. Pretend I give a damn about brats for the sake of this essay). The reality is that children are clammering to Japanese cartoons, where genderism still exists and plots are bogged down by PC psychobullshit.

Fact: Girls loved GI JOE, and many boys I know watched Jem. However, by having an aim the cartoons had direction. Not only in stories, but in art design. Instead of making the pictures stylized to the point of ludacracy(sp?) they were stylized to be either pretty (My Little Pony) or gritty (Jace and the Wheeled Warriors). Further, both boys and girls cartoons had the superior angles of good vs evil. Plot was paramount before the Children's Television Act. Not 'How do we solve this problem by working together?' Example: Jem vs. the Misfits in an intriguing plot. Not the ugly bitch with braces from the Wild Thornberries (another PC shitball=girls are ugly in cartoons so girls don't get stressed out about being pretty) trying how to fix the water tank in the family Winnabago.

There are some gems (no pun) in the American cartoon scene, but these are generally exceptions that prove the rule, and they're on Fox. But the networks that fell in line--YOU SUCK!

Japan
Two months ago I ordered a bunch of Japanese snack foods from J-list.com. They've just arrived today. I went back to the J-list site trying to find the noodle soups I bought so I could find instructions on how to cook them. They were all taken down (razza) but I found this site through J-list: http://www.peterpayne.net/.

I read this page a while in the interest that once I had wanted to go to Japan and teach English. This was my plan in college, but the Japanese economy bottomed out just as I graduated and my sponsor backed out.

~~~okay, I've deleted the rest of this entry. I was in a bad mood this morning. Sorry.~~~

OPOSSUM! :o
A few days ago my mother said she saw something weird eating the cat food on the back porch. She said it definately wasn't a cat. It had a short stumpy body and light brown/black fur and a thick furless tail like a rat. Immediately I told her it was an opossum, but I didn't really believe her. We're in the middle of an urban city yo! But DAMN! I just saw it. It was a ding damn opossum! Holy shit. It was the size of a cat but with short legs and it was eating the kibble we put out. Now we have cats, blue jays, skunks and opossoms dining at the back porch cafe. AMAZING!

(Um, before someone asks, I'm calling it an opossom instead of a possom because in North America what we know as 'possoms' are in fact opossoms. Real possoms are from Australia. They carry their young in a pouch and have a tail strong enough to be used as an extra limb. American opossoms give birth in a pouch but carry their young on their back while raising them. Their tails aren't strong enough to help them climb. Opposums can have dozens of babies in a litter. Real Australian possoms never have more than two.)

Good News
I thought I lost my internet again and was waiting for a service guy to show. Turns out the cable was just loose. YAYYYY!

Wow.
Two Consort images done in two days. 0.0

This thing I have going with Vaoix is really helping. I might actually have a new part up by Monday.

Groan!
Okay Vaoix. Now let me get this straight. I now have only four hours left to finish an image I haven't started yet, right? And I have to get out an episode of Whoreass too right???

And a fucking marachi band has started crooning down the hills in the Projects. >.< Mother Fucker. The ac doesn't drown it out either.

So I get my GE mastercard replacement today. I don't activate it (as usual) and put it in my 'cards I don't use' box. I find that the old GE card of four years ago was never activated either. THEN WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE SUCH A HUGE BALANCE!?!

Don't answer that.

My P.O. Box was crammed and my shipment from Europe finally came in. I think I should start going to my P.O. Box more than once every two weeks. ~~;

Is it wrong to mail your deposits when your local bank is in walking distance?

Is it wrong to pay your quarter taxes 10 days early?

Um. I should probably stop wasting time and start drawing Davon and Aeon having sex, shouldn't I.

I got pulled over for driving with an ice cream cone in my hand. I wanted to cram it into the cops face. >:) Instead I did my "I'm retarded don't give me a ticket" act. The anal retentive dickhead said for me to pull over and finish it then drive. Like an obedient citizen I pulled over and ate French Fries until he was out of sight. DAMN IT! I got that cone free for getting a fill-up of 93 Supreme gas and I'll be damned if I'm actually going to set foot in some shithole McDonalds to get it. It's drive through or nothing. No offense Micky D's but being an adult whose both responsible enough not to have children and whose not on welfare gives me the right to never have to sit in your pastic booths ever again!

::sniffle::
I have too much to do today. ;_; And me promised Vaoix to finish a page of Consort in exchange for a page of Addiction. Too many orders. Out of some stuff. Got paperwork to do. Wahhhhh!

Posted in the BMB Forum

Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2002 8:00 am    Post subject: silly shit    

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
First time poster long time reader. Have you in my manga directory. Bmb snuck into a chat I was having. Thought you'd like to see it. ~yamila 

brookofander: I can't get my bmb and I need a fix 
yamila_a: okay here. 
yamila_a: Skids: I think I'm actually het. 
yamila_a: Cy: Me too. 
yamila_a: The end. 
brookofander: *Gasp* YOU BITCH 
yamila_a: evil smily 
brookofander: Cy: Screw this stupid bimbo. I've always loved you, Skids! 
brookofander: Skids: Shibby! *kiss* 
brookofander: *Much kissing and hugglefucks* 
brookofander: *Foreplay* 
brookofander: *Moans* 
brookofander: *sex* 
brookofander: *more sex* 
yamila_a: Stop that immediately! 
yamila_a: angry face 
brookofander: *LMAO* 
brookofander: *And many cigarettes afterwards.* 
yamila_a: I'm e-mailing this to whatshername. 
brookofander: Bonnie? 
brookofander: Or the chic who wrote it 
yamila_a: No that chick that does bmb 
yamila_a: yah. 
brookofander: Go ahead 
yamila_a: kay. 
brookofander: *snicker* 
brookofander: Mik: I'm sorry for everything, lovely! 
brookofander: Harls: Shut up, bitch *whip* 
brookofander: *Sounds of torturing* 
brookofander: *sounds of hot, make-up sex* 
brookofander: *And many cigarettes afterwards* 
yamila_a: said stop 
yamila_a: ::kick:: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Yamila Queen of the Awesome 
http://whoreass.keenspace.com 
http://www.shounen-ai.com 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What the!

Why you! >.< You don't have to rub it in. ::sniffle::

Feelings Hurt
Wish I never found Brenda's journal. That was a kick in the stomach.

Yaaaayyy!
^-^ I got my high-speed Internet back! All is right in the world.

:) Back!
Well it's over. A friend of Rico (Charles buddy) put the fear of God into C and he is falling over himself trying to make it seem like I misunderstood his threats. For those of you who sneered when I let two ex-cons stay at my house (and let them borrow my car) UP YOURS! It helps to be chummy with honorable criminals. They saw a wrong and righted it. No one got hurt. I'm doing business with C again.
I went to Atlantic City for the last few days, in case anyone was wondering. It was cool. I actually didn't gamble that much. I went body surfing in the ocean! :D It was so neato. There were critters floating all around me. Like these tiny crabs and see-threw blobs. I thought the blobs were jelly fish but someone else told me their amenomes (sp?). Whatever they were the ocean was full of them. You couldn't swim 5 feet without having 10 blobs hitting you. I got one in my bathing suit too. >.< There were also alot of tiny colorful clams (I know they're not clams, but I don't know what they are so that's what I'm calling them). If you stood in one place for a while and the tide buried your foot, when you pulled it out of the sand millions of these turquoise, pink, orange etc, miniature clams would come up too. Then they'd stick out their cute little tongues and bury themselves again. :D
I also went to a carnival on the boardwalk. It wasn't no Fiesta Shows Midway crap. It had a huge rollarcoaster, and this slingshot ride that would fling you in the air and let you bounce. Plus a neato water ride. I almost did the slingshot, but I was down to my last $20 (and even though I have $17,000 in my mother fucking bank account I couldn't withdraw anymore money for the day >.<) So I did those rip off games instead.
Okay. Listen up. All I wanted was a fucking Sponge Bob plushy. That's all! >.< Okay, I start off at the 'throw the dart at the balloons' game. Yay! I pop 3 ballons! Then the chick says, 'You threw the dart sideways so it doesn't count.' I'm like 'LOOK BITCH! GIVE ME THAT FUCKING SPONGE BOB OR ELSE!' ;_; but my pleas were in vain. I won a stupid fuzzy dice instead. >.< Razza!
Okay, so I go to the basket ball one. I'm all like "How do I win a Sponge Bob. Tell me the rules, and don't come up with some balony later!" >.< Okay, so after three tries I win, but while I'm fucking around some brat comes and wins the last small Sponge Bob. WTF! I'm like, "Gimme a big one! >.<" He's like, 'To win a large Sponge Bob you need to shoot 12 hoops in sucession.' Oh MOTHER FUCKER! I get a scooby doo instead. ::grumble::
Okay. So I go to this game where you spray water at a target to make a plushie climb up to the finish line. Three people play at a time. The first one to get to the top wins a small plushie. (E.g. A SPONGEBOB!) So I'm all like For sure I'll win this one! :D These little brats I'm competing with can't aim as good as me! ^-^
Yah bullshit. >:E They beat me three times. So I'm impatiently waiting for two more brats to come up so I can try again, then I get a brainstorm!
I tell the chick running the game, 'Yo babe. Can scooby play against me?' She's like, 'Sure. Scooby can play, as long as you pay for him.' Then I'm like, 'Can Mr. Dice play against me too?' *-* Long story short, I bought a Sponge Bob for $6. The End.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/assesofpolitics.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/assesofpolitics.html
Bwa! I love that tune! :D
Another Bwa - if you search for the terms Opie and Anthony and Incest on Google my journal is the first thing to come up. ::blush::

I should link Whore Ass on this journal, not Shounen-ai.com. Hmmm

Well anyway I'm having trouble with C just like Rob predicted. God that guys a cocksucker! AHHHHH! I'm getting out of town a few days. >.< Hopefully things will have cooled down by the time I get back. I am THIS close to narking on his ass. >.<
And people ask me why I keep a gun--!

Ick
For years I've dealt with a guy named Rob. He makes my top-selling product. He's honest. Body-builder, very hyper, a good guy.

He's told me a few times about a creep named C. The day has come when I have to deal with C. He sells a product I need. What can I do?

I didn't deal with C. I dealt with his salesman, whose the guy I met in Stamford a few weeks ago. Tonight I tried to call the salesman and ended up talking to C.

Rob was right. ;_; C is an asshole! Fuck! And now that I have it confirmed about C I have to watch the fuck out. SHIT! If C ever does to me what he did to Rob and some other guys I will be in DEEP SHIT.

::sigh:: Oh well. I have to make money. If I didn't deal with assholes I would have only 2 people to buy from.

I feel so sick inside after talking to him. What a creep. I feel I just hung up on Satan. He was absolutely rude to me, and I just bought $4,500 worth of his products! Oh Rob! I'm so sorry I betrayed you.

Yaaaayyy!
I contested a speeding ticket back in May. I went to the hearing today and got my fine reduced from $215 to $75!

Yayyyyy!

http://artistsweb.120seconds.com/2000/27/plickey_muto_4_trip/index.html
Aaaaaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiii! http://artistsweb.120seconds.com/2000/27/plickey_muto_4_trip/index.html

Bleh
Manga now off my reading list:
http://glamourlust.keenspace.com/
I hate it when a good manga turns stupid. ;_; I remember back when checking that site was the first thing I did Wednesday's and Sundays. ;_; I was even going to draw a guest strip for it. ::sigh:: Oh well.

Frig
My new GHB alternative sucks. >.< Took it last night and just got screwy dreams and the inability to wake up. Phone rang and my muscles wouldn't let me move to get out of bed and pick it up. >.< Also made me sleep real late. Shit.

Holy Moly
;_; I finally got caught up on my e-mails.

Scheme Worked
Wow! Who knew I could actually fool someone. @-@ But my ingenious scheme to get a drawing has worked! See:

*snickers* congrats :p..*smiles*...what do you want me to draw?!

;_; Only prob is me feel too guilty to make her dwaw something.

I really shouldn't harrass people like this.
A window appears before me at a site I surf into.

! Are you visitor 411? If so copy the counter and send it to me! I'll draw you a sketch of whatever you want. (No cars or mechas).

Hmmm. I'm visitor 229. But I really want the prize. I send her this:

^-^ Wow! This is so great! :D I win the artwork. Me is 411! ::happy dance::

Let's see if it works. *-*

Cats II
The new cat isn't stray. The house next door was just bought, and apparently he belongs to them. They're house has a wide open yard with no shade and no strays to play with, that's why he's hanging over in our yard.

Although we couldn't adopt the new cat, he did have an effect on the white stray. When I still thought the marked cat was a stray I saw it playing with White in the back yard and put some food out for it. The marked cat came prancing happily for the food. The white cat was playing with it. He watched it come and get the food and me pet it. Then it came on the porch (amazing!) and let me pet it too for the first time!

So now the white cat has become friendly with me. It will let me approach it to give it cream and stuph. I tried to get it to come into the garage but it prefers outside.

Since it lives in our yard all day, the heck, it's our cat. ;_; It may never come inside, but we feed it and it lives on our property so it's our cat.

(achoo!)

Cats
Like all big cities, Worcester has a stray cat problem. I noticed a lot of strays were hanging around my back yard trying to get the birds eating from my feeder. These cats are mangy, skinny, and wild.

I started putting out tuna fish for them. Several cats came on my back porch to eat. So I started buying dry cat food, and left it out for them every morning and evening.

We have a grey mother cat and her two wild kittens eating here, plus a white cat with matted fur and a tabby. These are the regulars. They're all feral now. They run like crazy if they see us. The other day there was a new one. It had black and white markings.

First my mother saw it on the front steps. It was in front of our front door sleeping in the shade of our rose bush. My mother and I are very respectful of the cats. We're not little children. We don't try to pet them or sneak up on them or anything. We realize they're stray and hungry and just let them eat.

Now this time my mother had no choice but to disturb the cat. It was blocking her way in. So she approached it slowly, giving it plenty of time to run away.

It didn't.

It stayed there until she was just in front of it, then politely got out of her way.

She told me that a new stray was not scard of humans! :0

So we put a can of food out for it. He came on the back porch happy for a meal. He let me pet him! :o

So either this is a recent stray, or not a stray at all. But the cat was very hungry, so we think he must have been abandoned. He was soft and clean, so we think it couldn't have been that long.

If the cat comes back for more food tonight, we'll pretty much know for sure it's abandoned. I'll still put an ad in the paper seeing if anyone's looking for it. But my mom and I are thinking of taking him in. ;_; We're allergic to cats, but we love them. It made our hearts swell to see one who would actually let us touch him. We'll put up with the allergies to reward this tame cats trust in us. ;_;

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/starwarz.html
;_; Awesome----!

Stamford
I drove to Stamford CT to pick up three new products and have a business dinner with a salesman. Too late at night to drive back. At a hotel. (With Internet! Yay!)

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/spiderman.html
*-* I could watch that one all day.

Oh man--!
;_; This nonfiction writing stuph is taking a lot of time. Plus I have another flight lesson today. And I decided to go to the Botanical gardens yesterday so I have fifty million orders piled up.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

http://www.firelily.com/support/depression/trolls.html
Whoa. This hits the mark so well it's spooky. @_@!

Wahhhhh!
>.< Troy just called (my accountant). BLARG! I'm nearing Capital Gains. If I don't put $20,000 in my IRA I'll lose more than that in taxes.

Why can't planes be tax deductable? Pssh. He says it would be if I used it for business. I can see it now. Flying door to door to drop off my shipments. >.<

God I'm a wuss. I just want all my money in my money market getting it's nice little 5%. I want it to be handy.

The other option is putting it on my mortgage, or just investing in some other property. My former employer, Carruth Cap., had lots of investors doing that. I know Mike Egan would let me in. But I don't want to invest in property! I don't want to drop the money into the black hole which is my mortgage! I WANT IT IN MY MONEY MARKET SO I CAN GO TO VEGAS IN OCTOBER AND USE IT TO TIP HOT WAITRESSES AND LOOK LIKE A BIGSHOT AT THE CRAPS TABLE!

;_; ::sigh:: Where's an off-shore bank account when you need one? >.< Fine. I'll put it in the fucking IRA. ::has tantrum::

BUSH! I VOTED FOR YOU YOU ASSHOLE! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TAX BREAK! er...I actually voted for Ralph Nader ('cause he's in favor of decrimilization) but whose counting?

Bliss
I took some solar water last night. Today I'm feeling too awesome and relaxed to do any work. ::sigh:: But I have to get those backorders and orders out.

Irony
I just took a $48,000+ loan out for a plane and I'm quibbling with Chem lawn over a mere $175 to aerate the lawn. Bwa! Well, I got them down to $140 anyway. The lawn looks fantastic as-is. If they want me to subscribe to more services you can be damn sure I'll be a hard sell. Hmph!

WOW.
First, my flight lesson was fucking awesome. I did my first landing. My instructor didn't touch the steering wheel the whole time. ;_; I can't believe how fast I'm learning. I'm so comfortable in the air. It's like second nature. The only thing I'm having trouble with is steering with the rudders on the ground. My instructor said it takes a while. ~~;

Second, the big news! Waii! The flight school sells planes. Someone just put a plane for sale that's exactly what I'm looking for. It's a 1968 Cessna Skyhawk 172. Less than 100 hours in the air. (Heh, it was owned by an old lady who only flew it back and forth to church). It looked emaculate. Lots of new parts. I inspected it with the same checklist I use for the preflight.

Beautiful. ;_; Just beautiful.

My instructor turned it on so I could hear the engine. It's perfect. Flight ready. The paint is even perfect. Unlike the plane I take my lessons in it's not a tie down. It's been hangared all it's life.

Let me cut to the chase. I put a down payment. Yes, that's right. I'm now making payments on one sweet little Cessna. ;_; My next lesson will be in my own little baby.

I put down $5,000 and got financing through this bank the school uses. The plane is $48,000. I got a four year loan paying $1,200 monthly. ;_;

I own a plane! I own a plane!

I just want to go to the school and cuddle with it. ;_;

WAIIIIII!
PRAISE GOD ABOVE! :DD My $15,600 shipment FINALLY CLEARED CUSTOMS!

OH THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU GOD! This package has been stuck in customs since July 9th. I have 170 back orders waiting for the merchandise.

I was so scared the FDA was going to bar entry into the country. ;_; I thought I was going to have to refund all these people and have stop selling THHC products.

HALLELUJAH! So many customers and retailers will be breathing a sigh of relief! :D

Must show these products back in stock on my four websites. SO MUCH TO DO! WAIIII!

::dances for joy::

Blarg
I don't think my flight lesson's going to happen today. Sky looks cloudy and thunderstormy. ;_;

Well I'll Be Gosh Darned!
I had a packet from Rolling Stone in Friday's mail! Ah shit. I can't believe I didn't open it sooner. It was in one of those large white envelopes I get on a near daily basis from either Strong Fund, my accountant, or Janus Fund.

Welp, it's a galley of the August issue. :D That was nice of them. Of course it's too late ask them to change anything, but the article looks good! Damn good! ^-^ I can't wait for it to hit stands. :D If anyone missed it, Rolling Stone magazine is doing an article on my business site. It's the August issue, so buy it! Or at least go to a magazine stand and skim it. :D They had rock stars try my products! Squee hee hee! I don't know how much more I'm allowed to say, so we'll leave it at that.

I also forgot to mention something else going on right now. I've fostered a friendship with a literary agent from Australia through my business site. He knows about shounen-ai.com, and has read some of my fiction and nonfiction.

Not the shitty fanfictions on site, obviously. I sent him a copy of the New Hampshire Literary Journal so he could read my 'Throwing Rice' story, and some of my published semiconductor articles. He's published some technical books himself so he could understand the algorithms and all that. Anywho, he's been trying to get me to write a book on legal highs since forever. I may do one someday, but for now I'm shying away from the idea. Last night he got me on the phone and confronted me about it.

This gist was: 'Yamila, you know legal highs. You know how to write succinct nonfiction. You have the credentials (B.A in literature and 4 years in the business). Why won't you do this for me?'

I told him: 'I sell legal highs to make enough money so I can sit on my ass all day drawing pictures on the computer and writing flowery gay love stories. I don't sell them because I like them. Legal highs pays the bills. If I wrote a book on it I'd be forcing myself through it. I don't need the money.'

So he asked me 'Well, if not legal highs, then what is your passion?' Can you guess what I told him?

Bottom line, he said if I wrote a nonfiction book on Shounen-ai he'd represent me. He said nitche genres have a strong market, and in this case there is NO nonfiction published about it. I have the credentials for this one too.

I'm not fired up about it though. I've written nonfiction in the past when I was with ADE. Working on a deadline is hell. Writing a book at all is a huge undertaking. It's not something I could keep up with my other projects. So, anyway, Rich is coming to the states in November and I'm putting him up for a week or so. He wants me to have a pitch for a publishing company by then and an outline and first chapter. If a publisher bites I'll get an advance and will be able to focus on the project entirely.

I guess that's not asking to much. ::sigh:: We'll see. As it stands now...it sounds an awful lot like ::cringe:: WORK!

BWA!
Fifty people reply to the flamer's off-site bulliten board entry. I'm like famous or something.

It's lonely at the top! (Heh).

Ah said it before and I'll say it again: I only get flames when the counter's showing.

Seratonin! Joy!
I stayed off Celexa for two days then took my dose today. The first few hours after taking it I get a little Seratonin bolt. :) Nice irrational happiness.

My mother's car was making a funny noise, so she brought it to the shop and borrowed mine. Tomorrow I'll drop her off and pick her up at the train station 'cause I'll need muh car for my flight lesson. Today I'm stranded. Fortunately there's a P.O. in walking distance so I got my weekend orders out. Sunday I had one measly sale. This morning there was 18 in my inbox. It's all good.

My home office is nice and air conditioned now. :D I was ready for this heatwave! The cold keeps me awake. It's past my nap time and I'm not even tired. Such extravagant luxury!

I should get some work done today. I was thinking of making a flash cartoon to opera music. It's still rolling around in my mind. Really though, I'll draw an image for Consort. ... Getting chilly..

Two Downloads
Two programs that have made my life easier:

Pop-up Blocker found at http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file_description/0,fid,8060,00.asp

and Bounce Spam Mail found at http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file_description/0,fid,5402,00.asp

I never downloaded stuff like this before because I used to be on a dial-up and kept my downloading to a minimum. I'm also suspicious of free awesome programs because of the risk of sneakware. (Like what Kazaa and Gator does). But I read the license agreements on both--something sneakware agents take for granted that people don't do--and both programs seem clean.

Wow! I can actually browse the smut on P.L. Nunns page without 5 million popups! Huzzah!

Love with Flying
Ah love flying so much! ::weep cry:: Why didn't I start taking lessons sooner? ;_; My flight instructor is only a year older than me.

Well, I couldn't have done it sooner because I never had the money before. Still...

My instructor is a consumate professonal. He's handsome, even tempered, and excellent at teaching. I think he is a big part of what makes me love it so much. It's really nice to meet someone who has so much to offer, yet is not full of himself in anyway. He's a Christian, a Brazilian, just a great guy. He makes me feel so comfortable in the air. All the lessons float on his soft voice *-* How lucky I am!

This is lesson two. I'm ready to get my student license. I have to go for a physical ASAP. ::sigh:: Don't care. This is muh best hobby yet. Yamila, who is Mrs. NeverFinishNothing, may just actually see this thing through!

Food
Let's see if my flight lesson is canceled today. Actually, we have a pretty good chance of taking off. No rain, not that windy, clear skies.

Today I actually talked to a telemarketer (instead of hanging up on them) and it was verra beneficial. Turns out she was selling grocery delivery. Yes! I lost my service when I moved and was looking for a new one anyway. :D The rep is coming by tomorrow.

The telemarketer girl sounded cute and perky. ... We interrupt this entry to take a call from Rob in Florida. This is the guy who sells me the reds blues solar water and white powder. He's so fired up! I'm making a deal with the legal speed guy and will probably be buying a shitload of stuff from him. Man this guy is always wheeling and dealing. :S ... eh I'm back, but I don't feel like talking about the telemarketer girl anymore. Rob said he'd call me back in ten minutes. How much you wanna bet he'll call me in five.

Lilo
Lilo is butt ugly. What the fuck is up with that nose? Got a face like a chain saw. This is Lilo from the dizzney moview Lilo and Strictch. I'm spelling it wrong 'cause I don't want brats finding their way here through google.

Bowie
The incest twins are at it again next door g-damn it! >.< I've shoved my dresser in front of the window so I don't accidentally see something. Plus I've cranked the Opie & Anthony radio show up so they can be aware of me and maybe be more inhibited.

Every afternoon I.P. addresses 68.39.104.187 and 68.112.228.5 do a port scan of my computer to try and install a backdoor subseven trojan virus. AHHHH! This pisses me off so much. Enough already! You're not going to get my cc numbers! Get a job or something. >.<

Proof Yamila Loved Shounen-ai before she knew what it was called #121
When I was a freshman in highschool I read every David Bowie biography I could find. I had nearly memorized the part in his unauthorized biography when Angie Bowie was talking about the time she caught David and Mick Jagger in bed. ::drool:: I must have had a million fantasies about those two. *-* David musta loved those lips. Mick had to be in love with David's aquiline features. ::sigh::

Parts of the fantasy:

The song 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' was inspired by the time Mick asked David to bend over. David said no. (Lyrics continued:) But if you try sometime, you'll find...you get what you need! This second bit came about because David gave him a blowjob instead. :p~
Ziggy Stardust was the biproduct of Mick asking David to dress in drag for him. Let us not forget: Bowie is the grandfather of glam rock. And that came about back when those two were hot and heavy.

That's all I can remember for now.

>.< I need to stop procrastinating and work on Consort.

David
I've got that irrational happiness I get sometime. It's that 'I want to take on the world and I bet I'll win!' feeling. *-*

My mother's train buddy David checked out shounen-ai.com recently. Uninvited I might add! >.< Hmph! Oh well, so now he knows Maria's daughter is a lesbian. Big whoopee.

David: Get off my site ponyboy! Don't make me open a can of whoopass on your candy ass!

Heh. I dun care. E-mail me if you see this or whatever. ::kick:: >.< and stop putting down my work. I told you it was full of gay stuph. Sheesh. ::kick:: I'm awesome and you know it too!

Signed:
Yamila, Queen of the Awesome

Welp
My flight lesson was canceled today due to the weather. Kind of glad. I wanted to catch up on some drawing

I spent the money I saved on the lesson on an air conditioner. We were having a heat wave, but it just broke into a thunderstorm. Oh well. Least I'll have it for the next heat wave.

Got one package. The other is still in limbo. ::sigh:: But at least I got rid of a bunch of back orders.

Man is it thundering out there. Me hope me don't lose power!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/humpty.html
This fucking kicks ass! BWA!

Stuph
Blarg. I have 47 orders to fill today because I decided to fuck around yesterday and didn't get out to the post office. >.< If I start now I should have it done in time for my flight lesson at 2:00 today.

So the government has decided to 'inspect' my latest THHC order. (razza!) I hate this shit. Why can't they just let it go through?

::sigh:: I better stop procrastinating and get to work. ::double sigh::

AHHHHHH!
WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HELL ARE MY NEIGHBOR'S TWO DAUGHTERS DOING TO EACH OTHER IN THEIR FUCKING SWIMMING POOL?!?

They're practicing CPR
They're practicing CPR
They're practicing CPR

AHHHH! I can't believe what I just saw! BLORK! I wish I could rip my eyeballs out!

Neighbor's daughters are 10 and 14. They were sticking their tongues down eachother's throats and rubbing their crotches together.

>.< You'd think it would be safe to look out your fucking window! I thought they were trying to slash water on my rosebed. I went to tell them off and GAHHHHH!

Reallife incest. Not pretty.

Sigh. Pscychologists say that 'exploration' by siblings is usually not harmful to their development.

The same does not apply to neighbors who accidentally see it. >|( YUCK!

Argh
I'm so sick of getting jerked around by my manufacturers. Why, OH WHY do I have to threaten them with forced charge backs in order to get tracking numbers? What the hell kind of businesses are people running. I'm SICK OF IT!

TOE told me on the 11th: Yamila, I just wanted to let you know that I shipped your packages out myself today.

Today is the 19th. UPS Ground only takes 5 days. What the fuck? By the 17th I asked for a tracking number. No reply. 18th. Asked again. No reply. Today: GIVE ME A FUCKING TRACKING NUMBER FOR THIS SHIPMENT OR I AM GOING TO DO A FORCED CHARGEBACK!

That got a reply. TOE: Oops! Sorry. It wasn't shipped out yet. We just shipped it. Here's the tracking number.

I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but each of these orders is the price of a Hyundai. For Christ Sakes! I expect better!

Ow.
;_; Ow. My shoulder hurts from climbing on the plane yesterday to check the gas tank.

Why do I always have to push it?

Muh family is so impressed with me! And it ain't easy to impress my bro, let me tell you. *-* This has been a great dicision. I've got flying fever so bad now!

I'm thinking of ditching the 'fat blonde' fake picture and use a guy's picture instead. (giggle) Okay, don't get miffed. I only use the fake picture with flamers. The real Yamila picture is me standing next to Buff Bagwell (pro wrestler) on a cruise ship.

I've been using the fat blonde pic for a while now...me needs to find something with greater shock value. Hmmmm.

Today's Adventure
FLYING IS AWESOME I LOVE IT!

Wow. The flight lesson was the bomb. I flew for 15 minutes. My instructor got us off the ground and landed, I took over in the air. Basically just keeping the plane steady.

It was fun, it was awesome, I took to it like a fish to water.

I had this powerful deja vu the whole time which I could not figure out. I swore I'd been in a single engine plane before, but I haven't, not in my entire life.

I got some more info, learning how cheap it is to hangar a plane (usually regional airports give you free hangar space if you buy fuel), landing fees are $5-$10, fuel for a plane is about the same as car fuel -- SHIT!

One of the instructors at the school flies to work every day. Having your own plane rocks. It's the ultimate in freedom!

Well, I put down $1000 for my next set of lessons. This was a special deal where you flew for a half hour for $50. Normal lessons are an hour in the classroom and an hour in the air. They cost $150 each. You need to log 35 hours to get your Private Pilot's license, which is what I'm after.

Simultaneously, I'm looking at buying a plane. I already know what I want: Cessna Skyhawk 172 from the 1960s or 70's for $24,000 or less.

I feel a new world has opened for me! I can't wait until I'm able to fly solo.

In other news, Rolling Stone called again today asking for more samples. >.< I was hesitant, until they told me the reason. The article isn't going to be a bunch of writers and editors trying the products. They're going to have rock stars try my stuff! That is so cool! I don't know who it is, but I'm getting 5 free issues for my trouble. And I found out it's going to be in the August issue, not September.

Wow!

Amazon.com
>.< Amazon.com hasn't sent out their quarterly affiliate payments and they'd better hurry the eff up. They owe me $171.80. Yeah, it ain't alot for four months worth of commissions, but it's mine damn it!

I wonder what's going on...

Flying Lessons
Sales started out real slow this week, but I've caught up today. Got a strange surge of business just now for some reason.

Tomorrow at Noon (Thursday, July 18th) I take my first flying lesson at Amity Flight School in Worcester. I've wanted to get my pilot's license for years, now seems as good a time to start as any.

I need to come up with $4,500 for the training course. I'm tempted to just pay with the Turkey money, but I think I should just get financing instead. At any rate I need to see how the first lesson goes. Maybe I'll hate it. (Though I doubt that).

Planes are expensive! Sheesh. A used Cessna Skyhawk seems my best bet. Got to figure out what the hangar fees, insurance, and maintenance costs will run me though. It might be better just to charter a plane whenever I need it rather than buy my own.

It will be cool to be able to fly to Boca on the weekends. My former boss, Christopher Egan (son of Michael Egan whose initial M is the M in EMC, the huge datat storage company) used to fly their every weekend to golf. I envied him.

It will be cool to live like he does ;)

Let's all pray I don't crash tomorrow! *-*

Solar Water
Ach. Two days without Celexa. I feel my seratonin levels slowly draining away... Heaven help us all.

My script ran out and I've been waiting for the doctors office to call it in. I turn into a bitch without Celexa. I've got mental problems. Celexa makes me normal. I had better get a pill today or else someone get my poor mother a plane ticket.

Anyway, I'm selling this new GHB alternative called Solar Water. I searched high and low for a legal alternative. GHB is a hard nut to crack. The DEA enforces the Analog Act viciously with this one. I couldn't even get Remforce in from Canada. Tech TV's expose (which mentioned MY site damn it!) didn't help matters.

Right, well, going the HGH (human growth hormone) route seemed to allow me to sell an alternative. The only legal alternative out there. All I can say for herbalecstasy.cc, which sells Thunder, a 100% illegal analog, is see you in jail suckers. Some people need to grow a brain cell.

I digress. I picked up Solar Water a few months ago and sales have been steady despite the huge price ticket. I got a shipment in yesterday and one of the bottles had a cracked lid. The liquid spilled inside the box damaging the other labels (razza frazza) and making one bottle unsalable. I called the manufacturer and got a credit for the bottle. I'll still sell the ones with the soaked labels. Shit happens, and my customers are pretty easy-going.

So anyway, I now had a 3/4 full bottle I couldn't sell. So I decided to give it a try myself. I took two cap fulls last night before going to bed.

GHB, for those of you who don't know, is the date rape drug. It's the roofie guys put in girl's drinks to make them rapeable slugs.

Before I get a novel of hate-mails, let me make one thing clear. I do not, nor would I EVER sell something to aid rapists. Solar water is not an analog of GHB. It does not have the potency to relax a persons muscles to the point their helpless. It contains RAW YOHIMBE. This is the most bitter herb in existence. If someone tried to put this in a drink, first of all they'd need half a bottle to even get close to real GHB. These are 32 oz bottles. Unless they were adding it to a pitcher and expecting the victim to drink the entire pitcher by themselves, they aren't going to get anywhere. Further, the Yohimbe tastes so awful it's impossible to think that anyone could swallow that much. I don't care how drunk you are. You would puke after the third gulp.

The sad fact of the matter is that scumbags like these get the real GHB, which can be bought easily on-line. GBL is "inkjet cartridge cleaner" and can be sold legally. Mix GBL with another "cleaning agent" and you get pure GHB. It's pathetically easy to buy, sold by irresponsible assholes who don't give a fuck whose lives they devastate so long as they make a buck.

So what about what I sell? If you know me, you know I am a staunch supporter of decrimilization. You may not agree with it, but it's who I am. My target market is recreational users of GHB. Not rapists. People who use it for themselves. Some people smoke joints, some people drink a cap of GHB. I have no problem with giving consenting adults their fix with an alternative that is 360 degrees safer than real GHB. It's nonaddictive. There are no side effects. There's no brain rot. If you are one of those who says, 'Anything that gets you high is bad,' okay, no prob, you're entitled to your opinion. I challenge you to try and go past the drug war brainwashing and form an opinion based on factual information, not on propoganda. Erowid.com is a good place to start your education.

Boy did I ever digress! Let's get back to Solar Water. I have this bottle that I can't sell, so I decided to consume it myself. I took two capfuls last night and went to bed.

Oh praise God above! No wonder this product sells so well!

I suffer from insomnia. Not all the time, but it comes and goes. Right now I'm having an insomnia phase. There is nothing more frustrating. I want to be productive during the day. Insomnia is not fair. It leaves me half-rested and irritable.

Last night, as soon as my head touched the pillow I fell asleep.

;_;

Not only that, but it was a deep floaty restful sleep. I had several vivid dreams about negro slavery in America and making clothes out of Chiffon. You only dream in REM sleep, which is the deepest sleep you can obtain.

This morning I popped out of bed revived and ready to face the day! I haven't yawned all morning. My muscles feel relaxed. I'm usually tense around the shoulders. I have no such discomfort today.

I'm a believer. I'll be finishing off that bottle myself. This is a great product!

GABA
Oh mercy...

----- Original Message -----
From: PH
To: ---------
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 4:52 PM
Subject: Re: G.A.B.A

Hello Richard,

This is Yamila from PH. I think I mentioned to you over the phone that I submitted a sample of the GABA powder to DEVVA in South Africa. My contact there is interested in distributing the product, along with several of my own products. I know you're very busy with the Turkey order right now, but I need to know an approximate ETA for 30,000 bottles of G.A.B.A. dropshipped to South Africa. We won't have any speedbumps to delivery. As I mentioned South Africa has no restrictions on pharmaceutical specialities. As soon as you could produce it you could ship with a simple customs form.

Please get back to me as soon as possible. They're raring to go.

His reply:

Hello Yamila,

I am making a cross symbol at you right now. Go away!

I'm just kidding. This is out of this world. I need to get back to you. I think I'm going to have to hire some temporary workers. Let's put it this way, if it takes me 6 weeks to make the 5,000 bottles for Turkey, how long do YOU think it will be to make 30,000? Please don't take their money just yet. I need to work this out.

Ah love flabbergasting business men. ^-^

Bulliten Board Fight
Annoying fight on the bulliten board right now. I think it's over now though. Though, I thought it was over last month with this girl and I was wrong then too.

The weird thing is, I'm starting to like this flamer girl. I think of all the emotions I went through when she first started her crusade against me last month. I was so upset I tried not to get on the Internet for as long as I could because I knew something mean from her would be in my inbox or in my sphere of existence in some way.

Now it's so ridiculous. I've gotten to know her better and realize this is just an insecure kid. She's incredibly vulnerable. She's doing the same thing I was doing last month, skimming what I write and avoiding my critique on her work. I know she's not really reading my replies to her posts. She referred to my publications as 'awards', mistook my mentioning of omnipotent viewpoint as 3rd person perspective, and remains oblivious to the fact that there are numerous samples of my prose work on my site. (She keeps putting down my writing as 'stilted dialogue' as if Consort and Feral Kind are the only things I've written).

I wanted to get mad at this and say, "Hey! Can't you read! That's not what I said!" But that would have been hypocritical since I've done my share of skimming for her posts too. I still haven't read the full posts in her Live Journal (where this whole thing started).

Eh, I don't want to go into a rant here. Suffice to say, I'm no longer intimidated by her. Her mean comments, of course, are water off the back of a duck. It would be impossible for her to embrace anything I do. Sort of like a robot with contaminated programming. Does not compute! Does not compute! This has been a positive learning experience after all.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/weebl-pie.html
The end of this one nearly made me piss myself. ::guffaw!:: Ah'm inspired.

Rolling Stone
So Rolling Stone magazine is going to do an article on my business site. Yeah, seems exciting, but Spin magazine did an article on PH last year and nothing came of it. Didn't even get a surge in business.

You've just got to love these writers. Hmmm, legal highs. What angle shall we take on this hot topic? The FDA's facism to the industry? The advent of new more potent legal substances? The shamatic connotations of mystical herbs?

Naw. Lets just have them send us some Buddha, get plastered and write trip reports.

::sigh:: At least it's a site plug. Check out the September issue of Rolling Stone for the article.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/yatta.html
This Flash makes me happy. ;_;

Lost
Four hours today are gone...I don't know what happened to them. But I can't remember what I was doing from 11am to 3pm.

Weird.

It's like Africa week on all the channels I watch now. >.< It's like the great karma queen telling me: GO TO AFRICA! GO YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!

Today the Travelers episode was based in Kenya. I watched and I thought: Shit. That place don't look so bad. Some parts were plainly disgusting. I don't care who I insult. I'm not drinking cow blood mixed with milk. I have no immunities with the stupid Athiothiaprene I'm on. It would kill me. But the Elephant orphanage and partying with girls looked rilly kewl. *-*

Right now is a show actually taking place in Tanzania. It's some rich white boy pretending to be a Zulu warrior with this tribe. That's more of what I expect. Bleh. Poachers. Guns. Dust. And I can't help it. When I watch those shows all I think of is: These people must smell. Their stench must hit you like a wall when they get within ten feet.

I know it's rich-bitch bullshit, but I'm sensitive to odor, damn it! No, no. Not going. I made my decision and I'm sticking to it. Yes I've opened the e-mail like twenty times, but whatever.

::sigh::

Weep/Cry
He's gone! My little Charles is gone!

Heh, oh well. He and Rico got back from the Firehouse at like 10pm and Charles said he wanted to move in with him. So I gave him my mattress, packed his stuff, and drove him to Rico's apartment.

;_; I thought I'd have him for at least a few weeks. Just goes to show, you can't keep a good man down.

>.< Now to change the locks.

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=pdi&itemid=179076
I can't tell you how tickled I was to read that thread up there. :D Whoreass is famous already! Guffaw!

Ugh, I'm so restless. But stupid. A friend of Charles (another ex-con who got out two months earlier than him) took the bus here to visit. They wanted to go out and there are a lot of bars in walking distance. I told them to forget it. The places are total dives in this area. I gave them directions to the Firehouse and let Charles friend borrow my car.

Okay, look, I know some of you think I have brain damage to lend out my car to someone I just met, but up yours. They have absolutely nothing to gain by either smashing it or stealing it. I'm insured. I've got Lo-Jack. I offered. My intuition says I have nothing to worry about.

What nags at me is they really tried to get me to come-with, and I'm really bored and restless so why didn't I?

I dunno. I have fun when I do go out. I miss my precious 'Members Only' in Manchester NH (lesbian bar). I haven't been to Gerardo's in two years. ;_; That's another lesbian bar in Providence. I remember going in there one sultry September night and this husky oriental girl I didn't know from Eve looked me up and down and said, "Hey, bitch."

*-* Best pick-up line I eva heard.

Straight bars are cool too. (Not for meeting women obviously, but for drooling at girating straight girls and getting drunk, fer sure). I told Charles and Rico to go to the Firehouse because that's my most favorite straight bar for the stupidest reason.

A real popular band was playing there one Friday a long time ago. There was wall to wall white people, because it was a honky-tonk cover band. I had come to realization some time before then that the only way to enjoy yourself is to get drunk and stay drunk throughout the night. For a woman of my size to acheive that it means constant guzzling, and subsequently, constant peeing.

Of course, my friends would be dancing in their choice spot in front of the band nursing their single beers all night, while I would move constantly from the floor to the bar to the bathroom to the bar to the floor. And my fat ass had to fight it's way through the mob with every step.

Oh kweeee! And here's the best part. Crowded club rules state it's okay to push and shove 'cause otherwise you don't get no where. Just keep saying 'Sorry,' and 'Excuse me' as you go. So I was really forcing my way through this gang of frat boys who were blocking the hall to the bathroom. And one of them got real irritated by it.

~~~pause for a loud session of insidious laughter~~~

So he signaled all his friends to squash me. <:D It was me squished against the wall by like eight buff frat boys, I mean seriously squished! And they were putting their little hearts into it! >BWA!< And I remember in my drunken stupor thinking, 'They've got to be kidding!' So I simply shifted my gigangic girth and squashed them instead. <:D And one of the guys started screaming: "UNCLE! UNCLE!"

Oh man that was funny. That made my night.

Oh well. Just me and mah computer for comp'ny t'night. *-* Hope Charles and Rico have fun.

Charles
I'm not going to Tanzania. Yes, I'm a big fat plucked chicken. The cincher was reading the US Traveler's guidance. Kidnappings, car-jackings, muslim extremists enforcing 'conservative dress.' Eugh. Plus I'm pretty sure my hosts don't know I'm a woman. They call me 'sir' in the e-mails and for some reason bold and italizize the word.

The main thing though is that my Sky miles couldn't be transferred to Kenya airlines. >.< Which means I wouldn't be able to upgrade to first class. >.< Sorry. I'm too fat to ride in coach anymore. The trip would be torture.

I sent them a wire transfer for $760 for a half page add in the expo brochure. That's probably good enough. I'm going to have to revamp my ad design tonight and get a PDF ready for them. Whateva. I'm not flying to Africa and that's that.

Okay, the title of this entry is Charles. Charles has been living with me now for three days. He's the son of my ex-girlfriend Sharon. He finally got released and needed a place to stay. So, despite the fact Sharon dumped me to get married, despite the fact I haven't talked to her since March, her son is staying at my home.

How did this happen, you ask? Charles, of course, did not know the nature of my relationship with his mother. Back when I was going out with her I went with her a few times to visit him. Charles and I became pen-pals (it's boring in prison, and I like having a captive audience XD). All while Sharon and I were going out I kept contact with Charles. He's read Consort, my novel, my fiction, I've read his, I know his life story, he knows mine, etc.

Even though Sharon dumped me and broke my fucking heart I kept writing Charles. He told me about a wierd situation he was in.

Charles is a model prisoner. He goes to highschools to tell kids to keep on the straight and narrow. He's also allowed out on work detail, which is picking up litter. Sometimes this is by the highway, sometimes at the beach, etc. (If you see guys in orange suits picking up trash these are prisoners. You've probably seen them a million times, especially in Massachusetts).

Okay, so he was at this polluted beach in Seabrook picking up trash with a group of inmates. This fat white 50-something woman chats him up. Like me, she becomes his penpal. Unlike me she immediately wants to get romantic, like 'let's marry as soon as you get out.' She's bought him a car. She owns a home and was ready to share it with him.

Charles is a 28 year old good-looking black guy. (YES, SHARON HAD A SON WHO WAS TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND I WAS DATING HER, WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?) He's ultra polite and shy. He doesn't have the personality to say: "Hey you fat old bitch, I want nothing to do with you." So he asked me for help. If he stays with Sharon the woman will find him. He wants to get away from Boston and establish himself somewhere close to mom, yet safely away from devil-she-bitch.

I told him back when I was still with Sharon he could stay with me. We'd been planning it since Christmas 2001. I picked him up and set him up in my basement. I almost don't know he's there. He's like...quiet. I can hear the tiny little sound of a TV right now though.

I haven't had a man in the house since I lived with my brother. I guess it's okay. The bathroom has man-stink each morning (Polo cologne, shaving cream), but it doesn't last long.

He already had work lined up before he got out. Most of the day he's at the foundry working for this company that makes stone steps to put in front of houses and trailors. Don't ever believe that ex-cons are unemployable. He had plenty of offers to choose from. This company (which is in sutton, about a half hour drive) even picks him up and drops him off.

I let him use my old Monorail computer and the dail up so he can look for apartments on the web. He won't be here long. ;_;

The guy's is a model houseguest. He reminds me of my brother right after he got out of the millitary. Very organized. Calls me ma'am. Tries not to be a bother.

The first night he was hear we talked until 2am. Of course you know what I want to ask him. Look at my web site. I was dying to blurt out "SO HOW MANY TIMES WERE YOU RAPED UP THE ASS? *-*" We all have that prison myth in our heads. I finally got the nerve to ask if anything like that happened. He told me the truth. Gang rapes are a thing of the past in Massachusetts. The prison system here puts something like salt peter in the food and water. No more sex drive left in jail. Prisoners are all impotent. ;_; It also helps to keep them calm. Probably is Celexa (razza frazza).

The prison he described to me didn't sound that bad. This is the state to be in to go to jail, I reckon. They're not 'penetenaries' (I know I just butchered the spelling on that) they are 'correctional facilities.' I was like, what's the difference? He told me, "A penetenairy is where you pay penance for your crimes. The worse the crime the longer you stay paying penance, because you did wrong and got to be punished for it. A correctional facility has the attitude that if you had to take on a life of crime then society is to blame. Your a product of the unfair situations you faced in society so when you break societal rules society has to take responsibility for fixing you. In correctional facilities you're corrected so you can live in society without having to commit crime. The worse the crime you committed the more time it's going to take to correct you. It's all about rehabilitation and reconditioning." *-*

Ahhhhh! Massachusetts. The most socialist state in the union. :D

TANZANIA
What do I do?
What do I do?
What do I do?

Life lately has been like a surreal dream. ;_; I've been receiving information from the South African I'm trying to distribute to. He's been spreading info about my business. People have been getting excited.

So yesterday I get an e-mail from DAR-ES-SALAAM - TANZANIA. They want me to be a guest at "MEDICARE EAST AFRICA '02". A health and herb expo.

I'm the only person in the world dealing these type of products who has attempted to breach the African market. I've gotten noticed. ;_;

A lot of investors are interested in what I'm doing. Africa is a perfect market for what I sell. No FDA. High demand. Great acceptance from the indiginous(sp?) people. After all, a lot of them are beetle nut chewers, kava drinkers, and gotu cola nut suckers. It's almost a perfect match.

So, the bottom-line, and why I'm fretting so much: I'm invited as an honored guest to this expo. They want to pay my way. Get me there. Get me started distributing these ultra popular herbs. It will begin with meeting investors at the expo.

They're paying my way.

Waiving the booth cost.

Paying for my hotel/food/airfare.

;_;

I'm not scared about presenting my stuff. I've presented at semiconductor expos back when I still worked. It's not about that. It's about going to Africa. Not South Africa - Tanzania. The thought terrifies me. I'm not in the best health. The idea of going to a country where a malaria vacination is required...ug. I couldn't even fly to India for my sister's wedding. Tanzania makes India look like the Ritz Carlton.

What the Hell kind of hotel will I be in? I have visions of communal bathrooms, flynets in the windows, bugs crawling all over a platter of cheese and bread--(blork! and what animal did the cheese come from?).

I don't know. I just don't know. My immediate reply was a stalling tactic. I asked the organizer to send me some data on the native people. Most importantly the per capita income. I'm looking over that now.

Here's an excerp from the document he sent me:

 TANZANIA IN BRIEF 
  
 POPULATION                :    37 million
 POPULATION GROWTH RATE    :    2.14% (1999 est.)          
CUREENCY EXCHANGE          :   1US$ =  900 TZ Shillings approximately 
LITERACY                   :   Aged 15 and over can read and write in Swahili & English
 RELIGION                                       :   Christian 45%, Muslim 35%, Indigenous beliefs LOCATION        :   E-Africa, between Kenya and Mozambique 
TOTAL AREA      :   945,090 sq km, land: 886,040 sq km,  water: 59,050 sq km 
 BORDER COUNTRIES  :    Burundi 451 km, Kenya 769 km, Malawi 475 km, 
                                                         :    Mozambique 756 km, Rwanda 217 , Uganda 396, Zambia 338
MAJOR ATTRACTION                   :   Mount Kilimanjaro  5,895m, the highest point in Africa. 
 OTHER ATTRACTIONS                :    Wildlife, Safari, Nightlife
 NATURAL RESOURCES               :   Hydropower, tin, phosphates, iron ore, coal, diamonds, gemstones, 
                                                              gold, natural gas, nickel 
LANGUAGES                                :    Swahili &  English  
 PURCHASING POWERPARITY :     $28.7 billion (2000 est.) 
GDP - REAL GROWTH RATE    :     4.7% (2001 est.) 
GDP - PER CAPITA                     :     Purchasing power parity�$870 (2000 est.) 
GDP - BY SECTOR                      :    Agriculture: 52% , Industry: 20% , % Services: 29% ( 2000 est.) 
EXPORTS                                     :    Total value: $ 1087 million (f.o.b., 2000 est.) 
COMMODITIES                            :     Coffee, manufactured goods, cotton, cashew nuts, minerals, 
                                                             Tobacco, sisal (1999) 
 IMPORTS                                      :    Total value: $ 2.2  billion ( f.o.b., 2000 est.) 
  
 MAIN PARTNERS                                           
UK 19%, India 9.8%, Germany 8.9%,  Japan 7.8%, Malaysia, 6.5%,  Thailand 6.4% Rwanda  5.2%, Netherlands 4.7% (1999) , South Africa 12.9%, Kenya 9.6%, UK 8.7%, Saudi Arabia 6.6%, Japan 4.9%, China 4.6% (1999)

I don't know. Should I go? Dare I? ;_;

Good Fight
Today was strange. A lot of negativity floating around but none of it came back to effect me. Maybe I was being guided to give some negativity where needed for the greater good.

(The above isn't worth explaining.)

I've learned why critics so often prefer to be anonymous. Well, besides the obvious. (Why say 'fuck you nigger' to a black woman's face when you can write it on a blackboard in private and run away? Hate and cowardice go hand in hand.) I saw the journal of someone who ranted against me. How can I read it? Accept/respect their words? When I see that everything is negativity for them. They thrive on it so they love to spread it. It's partly jealousy, always is. You have to be brave enough to admit that. It's also 'misery loves company.' They can't rise up so they try to bring you down.

I never get flames from pillars of the genre. For instance, Aoi Hayoshi, Silver D., Vaoix, et al would never bash me. They have nothing to prove. They have pride, self respect, talent. How can you be hateful with that combination? Like me I can envision them encouraging the lesser talents. No insecurity there. In that sphere is utopia I think.

Think for a moment. What kind picks a random work, made by someone they don't know or have anything to do with, and proceed with a half-hour diarhea of the mouth session?

Is it:

An extremely talented individual with an adoring throng of fans, a healthy home life, and financial independence.
A young new talent anxious to learn from her superiors so to one day rival their prestige.
A jaded non-talented individual who has tried without success to attain popularity, but now accepts the only viable tool for attention in their arsenal is their spiked tongue. They live with mommy and are less than one generation from white trash, though try desperately to hide it.

I guess that's why I don't read most flames. It's looking beyond, to the real motive, and not allowing the lessers to succeed. It's hard to ignore our curiousity. I know, however, that no matter how well I understand the motives of the flamer they're skilled (hatred is the only talent the can develop after all) and if one single word sinks in they win.

So I don't give them a chance.

I refuse to be humbled. The insecure will always go after that: 'You're full of yourself! I'm modest, I'm better!' As if modesty was a commodity. You look at their body of work and think, of course you're modest. The secure, however, the talented lot agrees with me. And the insecure, yet positive well-rounded people know better than to disagree. It works out.

I have my fingers in a lot of pies. I'm an entrepreneur (sp?) as most of you already know. Yes I could say, I have so much more than my talent. But all the work I do is for the talent. So I can stay at home, so I can write and draw. I never respond to flames for my business. Who cares? It's not me. It's a vehicle to free my time so I can pursue my passions. So sometimes, I do get dragged into an argument about shounen-ai. I'm being more careful in the future though.

Going's On
Today I had to drive to Rhode Island to get some Return to Sender packages that didn't ship for my other business. >.<

But my mother took the day off and went with me then we had this fab dinner at this trendy new restaurant chain that puts Chili's to shame. ^-^ They had this great homemade pie with slices of banana in it and fresh big fat blueberries. It was delish.

I won't have to make this trip again. I started a $500 escrow so that all the packages will be forwarded to my other business address. The money is coming from my Paypal credit card. I was selling on E-bay and allowing my wholesale customers to pay me through my Paypal account. I hadn't been paying attention to the money. I looked today and saw I had a small fortune. So everything I charge now goes on that card and it doesn't cost me a cent. Plus I got $17 of interest just for ignoring the money so long. Tee hee!

At my other office (which I really should close, I didn't realize that shitty building didn't have air conditioning) there was a fax waiting for me from P--- Nutrition. It was a nondisclosure agreement. My mind boggled. @_@ Wow. That means that all future orders from Turkey will have to go through me. It's my customer now! Wow.

I wondered why P--- did this. I was an idiot in this deal. I didn't get my lawyer involved to work out something like this for me because I didn't want to waste money on another retainer until I was sure I was going to need it. It's just P--- Nutrition being nice honest manufacturers. Then I worked it out...

This is a HUGE new market for them. They know that keeping me as a liason will get them more business. What further makes them think that is that I mentioned South Africa.

Hopefully this doesn't get you visions of Zulu warriors. South Africa is part of the UK. It's full of Dutch, French, and British colonists. It's not the greatest of countries, but by African standards it's an economic paradise. I got an e-mail from a guy there. He said he'd lost his distributor for Herbal E. So I quickly sent out a quote package with samples and my wholesale prices. I also included a sample of GABA. (Hey, I have a manufacturer who will dropship for me, why they Hell not?) He mailed me back and said he was interested in a lot of things. He would get the orders for all the people he wholesales to and make a gigantic order sometime this week. He mentioned he liked the GABA.

I got P--- Nutrition ready for this. Unlike Turkey it's not going to be 5,000 bottles. It's going to be more like 100,000.

P--- Nutrition realized it's good business to play fair with me. I'm sending a windfall to their doorstep! And they know I'm not some bullshit artist. I had an agent in Ohio go to my Wells Fargo bank account and wire them the $37,000+ dollars so they could start production. Plus I've already gotten the 'pharmaceutical specialties' shipping authorization from the Turkish government. All they have to do is manufacture and ship.

It's likely the biggest boast their business has gotten since it went public. It's perfect. Companies are to egotistical to venture outside the United States. They have no idea of the great potential in countries like South Africa, Israel, Turkey, etc. I'm like their employee now!

I remember growing up, having to go to the church to get food donations. I remember sleeping in the car. ;_; If anyone's interested author Yvonne M. Vissing cataloged my families trials and tribulations in the book 'Out of Sight Out of Mind' My family was doing a heck of a lot better when the book was published, and she did a follow up with us a year later. I guess what I'm saying is I remember how chaotic my life was then, and I look at it now.

I've made it. ;_;

Anyway, I want to share the wealth I got from the Turkey deal:

$2,000 to the mortgage

$1,000 to mother

$1,000 to sister

$1,000 to brother

$5,000 to my mutual fund account! (Hey, I can't have children, gotta put away for muh old age!)

OH MY GOD
Holy shit! Not 5 minutes after I diffused the negativity do I get a call from Istanbul. I don't believe this. I feel like I've just won the lottery! I never thought this deal would come through. @_@

Oh my God!

Thank you God!

For anyone interested this was something with my business site. I got an e-mail from Turkey last month asking me if I could get them in touch with a manufacturer for a fitness supplement called GABA (gamma amino butric acid). Usually I just delete these, because I have nothing to do with this type of product. Then I thought to myself, why not find a manufacturer and see what I can do for this guy. So I did. I got a sample and a quote from a manufacturer in Minnesota. I sent it to Turkey changing the quote so that if he did buy I would get a cut of $2/product. Now I was just called asking for wire transfer information. @-@ I just got $47,986 transferred into my bank account. $10,000 of it is MINE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Praise God above!

Positivity
It has been an extremely positive day! I went to get my car inspected. Across the street from the garage is the biggest park in Worcester. I decided to go feed the ducks. I bought a $.99 loaf from the store nearby (day old bread pile). I think this is the best $.99 I ever spent in my life!

Okay, for a while I was feeding these little finches, then I got close to the water to feed the ducks. I realized that there were hundreds of catfish in the water sucking down the bread before the ducks could get it. They were so cute! There was one gigantic one just sucking down all the bread like a vacuum cleaner. I got a wild idea. I took off my sandles and put my feet in the water.

OH! Happiness squared! It was the most awesome feeling in the world to feel the fishes squirming around my feet! But that's not even the best part.

A huge crane landed in the water. I'm not really sure it was a crane or not. It was tall, white, and hand long legs and a beak with a bit of a pouch underneath though no where near big enough to be a pelican.

The bird started getting closer and closer. I was like: Holy moly! I'm fricking Snow White all of a sudden. I have little birds eating crumbs all around me, ducks eating from my hands, fish swimming around my feet and now this!

Then I realized what he was after. ;_; He got within 5 feet of me and snatched two fish out of the water. :( Wahhh! I had lured my little fishies to their death! ;_; It swallowed them whole. I could even see them go down its throat. ;_;

Everything left after this. The ducks, fish, and the crane. So I just soaked my feet forlorn. Until...

I saw some weird animal swimming. I'm from the city, 'kay, so I don't see this sort of thing a lot. I was like, "Wow! A beaver!" But it looked to small to be a beaver. It was heading right for my feet which scared me, so I pulled them out of the water. Then I got to see it. It was a rat. A rat I tell you! It had a little rat's tail and, well shit, it was just a rat.

:D So I fed it a peice of bread. :DD

That damn rat was so frigging cute. ;_; It took the bread right out of my hand and held it in it's paws and munched it right in the water.

;_; Today was just fantastic. To top it all off I passed inspection no prob. Didn't even need to get a light ball changed.

Well that being said, I want to deflate the bad mojo of some of the negativity being sent at me.

The $3995 refund. ;_; I see messages from the guy but I don't read them. He's just going to gripe and moan that I kept part of the refund.

I dealt with him like a pro, I gave him every benefit of the doubt. I know that his ire will die down and life will continue. The best thing is the merchandise has already been sold to someone else. Business has just plain been great. It's this way every summer.

The issue with my ISP. It has been solved for the greater good, but I'm still left subscribing to the $9.95 plan. I guess it's really not worth dwelling on.

Flamers, I guess it's best when they use my own forums to try to discredit me. I can just delete it. I didn't even read this one, I just read the "I hate your guts," and deleted it. Now is it stupid to feel guilty for this? The person wrote a small book putting me down. I should have probably at least skimmed it. ;_;

This is likely coming from a LJ issue, but I'm avoiding that e-mail for now, so I don't know. It's probably the usual fallout for showing my statistics again. I wish I'd just kept them hidden, and been done with it, but people have seen them. No turning back now.

All in all, the positive outweighs the bad. If the deal with Turkey goes through this will be the best day of my life!

Proverb for the negative:

Mockers stir up a city, but wise people turn away from anger. (So true!)

Like a muddied spring or a polluted well is a righteous person who gives way to the wicked.

^-^ Mah well is clean!